The stark white light is mocking me, conspiring against me along with the subtle flicker of the cursor on the screen. For hours I've sat here, a burning cigarette in my hand, music turned up way too high, blaring through my headphones. I know what I want to say, but haven't a clue how to say it. Words escape me, and it is maddening. So many ideas I've had, yet as soon as I sit, boot up a word processor, and lay my hands across the weathered keys, my mind freezes. This became a daily ritual for me.
For years, really since the very beginning, I have struggled with writer's block, and it has always infuriated me. It never truly became a problem until I actually began to find a passion for writing. This was a year after I graduated from high school. I had been forced to leave college, and was living with my mom, jobless and in desperate need of an escape.
I found that escape in, of all places, fan-fiction. I spent the better part of a year pouring out ideas based on the worlds and characters I loved so much, and that was the spark that lit a fire in my heart.
My biggest obstacle however, was still that damnable writer's block. I can remember brooding for days, sitting locked up in my room, distraught at my own lack of ideas and, as I believed at the time, talent. Insomnia was a constant companion as well, really only making things worse for my mental state. I would sit for days on end, set in front of the battered old computer and trying to put ideas to paper.
It was only when I started to let go, to find inspiration away from my keyboard, that I found the ideas flowing more and more freely. Taking a step back, getting a decent night's sleep, eating a good meal, taking a walk in nature. Just getting my head away from that vicious cycle of failure and self-punishment was doing wonders for my writing.
Months passed, and I found myself slipping into a case of the dreaded block again. And then I found that my writing, the words and pages I had slaved over for weeks on end, people were reading it. People were responding to it and critiquing my work. The fire came roaring back to life.
Writer's block can be a damnable hurdle in any writer's life. It can stop progress cold, and send you on a dizzying spiral of doubt. It's just important to remember, especially when you first take up the art of translating your wonderful imagination to words on a page, that your mind is complex, and has needs. Take the time you need, rest, drink some water. The beauty of bringing your stories to life, is that they don't go on without you.
-Ryan
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